My 2nd dan grading
Passed last last! Come on!!
I want to explain what happened..
Going into this test...I knew it was going to be tough. The test is long. It is demanding both physically and mentally and easily the toughest test in our curriculum (except for 3rd dan). I was looking for a perfect....there were a few things I was pretty sure would be rough. I'm not one of those people who goes to pieces because he didn't get a perfect score.
The test starts out with physical skills....50 knuckle push ups and 100 "rowing exercises" (a simultaneous crunch and reverse crunch). Normally on any given day, I can bang 50 push ups no problem...been doing it for years, sometimes, the last 5 or so are kind of ragged. I generally struggle More with the rowing exercises...however, due to rigorous physical conditioning that I've mentioned elsewhere of the course of the last couple of years, I can usually squeak out those 100 reps. What happens is that I start dieing at 30 push ups and I fail to hit 50 without three rests. My body just couldn't do it. I didn't;t even make it to 50 rowing exercises before my stamina goes...then my from, then something pops in my lower back and that starts screaming in pain for the remainder of the set which I squeak out 5 at a time. I'm now angry, embarrassed and utterly confused...why can't I do these things in gradings.
Next we go into forms. I'm responsible to know my creation form (20 moves), the 8 taeguk forms, koryo and Keum gang as well as 5 Heian kata, kata bassai dai and kata kwanku dai (we start studying Japanese forms at part of the ee dan curriculum).
My creation form goes OK, but I'm exhausted already. I just don't recover from the frickin' physical skills and after going through it a couple of times I'm having a hard time maintaining solid stances. My goal just becomes do the next move....don't puke. The examiner expressed his concerns with my conditioning at this point.
I then do Kata Kwanku dai a couple of times (leaving out 4 moves the first run through....1 move the second)...THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED. My knowledge of forms is generally one of my strengths...as is my ability to regain focus after a screw up (concert pianist training has it's benefits)....but not tonight apparently. It's like I'm trying to think through mud....and I'm sucking wind so bad it's not funny. It felt like when I was awhile belt at my first serious conditioning class...not like a guy whose been training seriously and working on this stuff for 18 months or more.
From Kwanku, we went to kata Bassai dai...memory was better, but physical exhaustion killed my execution.
We took a break for forms to do falling skills with the cho dan students. I was supposed to dive over seven people long ways and 3 people solar plexus high. I can really only do 5 (6 on a really good day) and solar plexus high ain't happening for one of my height and build (tall and squat). SO I did 5 people long and 3 people midway between belt and solar plexus. I knew that would be the case...no bigger.
Back to forms. Moved to the Korean forms, keum gang followed by koryo. Same story, exhausted, sucking wind, trying not to puke. Very confused as to what's happening to me. Not happy.
The highlight of my test (i you can call it that) came with my creation self-defense. I was to create self defense techniques that demonstrated attacks to 7 vital points in the front of the face. I used some techs from poomse and kata and these came out really well. I was able to slow the pace down some. The only hitch was, when I vetted these before the test, the instructor who saw them indicated that as most of them were things like two hand grabs and the like...not one side attacks....I'd not have to do those both sides (doesn't make sense, y'know/) However...my examiner ( a different guy) wanted to see everything on both sides...had to do some fancy adjusting.
My creation gun defenses (two of them) wen well and were well received (that was good)
My required self defense techniques and punch sparring (15 techs in all) got pretty ugly...spomewhere early on, I felt something tweak in my right hamstring. So kneeling (which there was plenty) let alone walking became a chore (with my back still hurting and all). What little jumping skill I had was seriously compromised as well. Ugly comes to mind.
From there came sparring. I wasn't any more refreshed. It was lackluster t best. I was just trying to get out alive....and not puking. A situation that seemed imminent most of the time at this point. After sparring came grappling. Aside form being tired and injured...I had to go against this young 15 y.o. kid who is 6' 5" tall...he's like a big, wiry spider monkey. Even though I could probably out lift him in just about any power lifting contest, no matter what position I was in, there's arms and legs everywhere. A nightmare. He tapped my out twice, once with a choke and once when he yanked my arm across my body and something went in my shoulder (yep, injury #3!)
We finished with breaking. 3 required breaks, 4 creative breaks. I've done all these breaks, multiple times, with little or no problem. The only factor is my broken toe from August is just barely healed....I knew this going in and was prepared to switch legs on some of the kicks if necessary. I picked out great boards...a month ago. They were just sitting in my house. I was good to go.
It was the worst thing on my test and a great way to close out things. My breakers were 2 boards, jumping front hook kick speed (required), 1 board jumping reverse roundhouse speed (required), hammer fist through 2 two-inch concrete blocks (requires), 4 station break (side kick front, side kick back, spinning hammer fist left and jumping elbow to the right), 3" punch through 2 boards and blindfolded jumping side kick through 1 board.
Of those breaks, I did 2 of them on the first try. I outright failed the speed breaks and the 3" punch. Missed one station on the 4 station break. The highlight was the concrete block break...I only got to [practice it ponce, I failed to break the second block...broke it fine this time (small miracle it would seem).
My holders said they thought my boards were a little heavy....I'm assuming they picked up some moisture when we got all the rain recently...but I don;t know. I tried those beaks so many times that my feet are black and blue...and I think I re-injured my bad toe.
At the end, the examiner asked my how I thought things went and I just said "lousy". He passed me anyway. Part of me just wants to give the belt back, but I'm afraid it would be seen as an insult....and to be honest, I don't think I could face doing another 6 months of the kind of training I'd need to do to overcome such clear deficits right now.
What really kills me is that i prepared. I worked so hard to get ready...I KNEW my forms. My cardio was such that I should've been able to make it through anything they threw at me (maybe breathing heavy, but not in danger of hoarking all over the mat). I'm looking for where I somehow failed to do what was required of me prior to this test and I just don't see it. So why the hell did things go down this way? I can see one or even two things going bad....but pretty much the whole test?\
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. If you made it to the end of this post...congrats! Not much else to say...i was hoping to have a more positive message for y'all. It's l;ate...I really oughtta get to bed. Maybe some rest will give me some perspective.
Cheers guys and sorry if it was too long!
..Simon
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